nonliteral

Mood Wipers

I'm on mood wipers right now. Also, I listen to The Wipers these days (I also listen to Lil Peep a lot, but let's keep that story for another time). Looking for information on the band, not any particular information, just any information, because as the band that was active decades ago it's expected that information slowly drifts towards oblivion, I found that the frontman Greg Sage had "original goal was to release 15 records in ten years, free of traditional band aspects like touring and photo shoots". And somehow immediately I thought, ok so release 15 albums and retire from music, right? On second thought, it seems it's not what he wanted to say, it was just the first ten year plan, bolshevik punk planned economy style of thinking. And really, making music is what is the essence of being an author as a musician, not touring, doing interviews, etc.

But it would make sense to retire after 15 albums, after all, for many authors doing more than a couple is just an extra, uncalled for, and doesn't serve any other purpose than helping author's income, if there is some income to be made at all. I understand the ambition, because locking yourself into a studio just to make albums, sounds like a lot of fun. Many things to try and plenty of time to make music, something that rare musicians can afford. 

I don't know what he meant, maybe it was taken out of context, or not literally. But this is a nonliteral place that you are visiting now and I want to tell you that in the coming weeks my next album will be released. Like, it will be soooo released!

Dream recurring

Back when I was a small kid, maybe 4 or 5 years old, I don't remember exactly, but I do remember this. Every Saturday to Sunday night I had one same dream that I was always convinced that I would have that dream again next Saturday. I was much better connected to my dreams when I was little, ludic dreaming was happening quite often and I had the ability to wake up if the dream was too boring or unpleasant. I had my own technique for waking up, like falling from a great height. Of course, you could ask but how did you know it wasn't a dream and that you would end up dead? Well, I told you, it was a lucid dream with perfect awareness that I am in a dream, there was an intuitive feeling just as you are aware that you are awake. Anyway, let's leave that discussion for later. That same dream I had was about me walking down all alone in an empty socialist era one floor shopping centre. Well, not exactly a shopping center you might think of, but just a simple brutalist wide building with some shops, post office, cinema, and a supermarket. Every time, the scenery was the same, same weather, it was sunny with some clouds, and I was walking around building and plants around it, fooling around concrete structures laying around. And that was it. That was my safe place. Not that I had any troubles in real life back, and I think my early childhood was very happy, but I still felt the need to go there and be alone. Which is maybe a scary part, but then who wouldn't want to be left alone from time to time, not because of some relation problems, but positively and productively.

Tour de Misha

Oh my dear friends, it's been a while! That doesn't mean I wasn't doing anything. Quite the opposite, making the album took a lot of time and work was hard, still I am close to finishing it. There were few Digital Prayer exibitions in the meantime, and when I could I did small incremental updates to this site but had very little time to put in any content. I hope this is going to change, but I have many plans in the pipeline so I could easily get overwhelmed again, need to be careful there! 

At least in these Corona times, staying and home and working on things seems like an only option for some fun. I should also revamp Ex>Misha site, but just thinking about going through it again scares me a bit. I will try to start small and gradually build it, if I ever start that is. 

Obviously no concert reviews or real life stories to write about, and I try to stay away from venting political anger because it is futile anyway. We do that on social networks anyway. Instead, let's do something constructive. But hey in this hypnotically boring lockdown life I can only think of writing about how I like to play Train Simulator or take my cat out on a leash. One other thing I am likely to write is to explain my lo-fi style why I stick to it in music and where I think it will get me. All in due time.

Album has to be finished this week, and then I have to wait for cover art which hopefully I am not going to do myself this time. Outsourcing is a great option now when the time is tight. A month ago I thought that was it, then I went on remixing spree. Last week a great new idea came up for a song. I loved it so much that I am postponing a release just finish it and include on the album. That's it for now, hope I will get back to writing before I get overwhelmed with other ideas.

Out of the quarantine, into the void

When you’re out of the quarantine only to find out that quarantine is a multilayered thing, it does not apply to staying at home only, as you go out you will find many other limitations that are not so obvious. But they are there, it's not only limits imposed by the situation, but also ones that are internal, self imposed. Therefore, the world is still a bit lifeless, colorless, call it what you want. It's still a great looking cookie, but it has no taste at all. You can watch it, but you cannot enjoy it. Thus, I would rather go back inside than see the outside in this sorry state. Alas, not everybody agrees, but I just can't get into that mindset. 

And at home, I have created a void. Hopefully that will end soon. Just had too much frustration with writing lyrics for my songs. I am hardly satisfied with the lyrics I've written so far, but I am even less satisfied with vocal tracks for my new album. But I guess dissatisfaction is a part of the process. I would pretend that I am in no hurry, although I am very much because I want this done so I can move to new adventures, and I don't want to see anything unfinished, especially if I think it is good overall, otherwise, I wouldn't bother. 

Happy May Day, mayday, we are going down

Another retroactively published post. MayDay it is. May Day it was. 

I posted some lyrics, I mean poems that are actually lyrics for my next album. So now you know I haven't given up on my new album, I haven't even given up on this website as you can see. Back to the poems, silly me, I wasn't aware about encoding issues so now you have garbled text which you will see if you visit website now. But it's funny, because by the time you read this post that issue will be fixed. I wanted to post more stuff but somehow my other poems got lost in the cloud. I guess the cloud rained down, and now I need to check my computers because my poems are scattered all over the place!

Focusing on work does help to deal with this a situation, which still feels like a timeless limbo on endless repeat. The real issue is that my life is completely the same, except that I still work, and yes I have work and I can work from home which somehow isn't consoling at all, and I, like many others, wonder about everything... Not the perfect creative atmosphere mind you. But new songs are my focus, and my focus is unofocused, and it's like a radio station from a far away, so sometimes you get a good signal, sometimes you don't. But ultimately, nobody's expecting creative burst from anyone, let alone myself, so I am just a drama queen, my own evil master, but still a master, huh.